Jumari, Saleh dan Mail tahu betul seluk beluk di Gunung Ungaran. Mereka sudah terbiasa naik dari berbagai jalur. Dari Boja, Medini, lalu Pelumasan atau dari jalur Candi Gedong Songo sudah berkali-kali mereka lalui.
Namun mereka belum pernah menemukan Danau Ajaib yang konon bisa ditemui kalau menempuh jalur Gedong Songo. Danau itu dipercaya oleh orang sekitar dapat mengabulkan semua permintaan. Tinggal sebut permintaan sambil menceburkan diri ke danau maka permintaan pun segera terkabul.
Karena penasaran ketiganya berusaha untuk menemukan danau tersebut. Mail yang paling semangat, "Aku tak akan pulang kalau belum ketemu danau tersebut," tandas Mail.
Mereka memulai perjalanan dari bandungan. Setelah makan kenyang di sebuah pemancingan ikan Bandungan yang indah dengan latar gunung Ungaran yang tampak kokoh. Mereka lalu melanjutkan perjalanan ke Candi Gedung Songgo.
Dari sini petualangan mereka mulai. Semua perlengkapan untuk logistik sebulan mereka siapkan. Sehari, seminggu mereka tak jua menemukan danau ajaib tersebut. Setelah hampir 15 hari mereka akhirnya ketemu juga dengan danau tersebut. Terletak di tengah padang edelweis yang luas.
Mereka girang betul dan mulai memikirkan permintaan: Jumari yang pertama, karena ngefans sama Slash, gitaris Guns n Roses, dia menceburkan diri sambil meneriakkan nama gitaris pujaannya. Byurrrr. Jumari keluar dari danau dan berubah total jadi Slash.
Lalu Soleh menyusul dan menerikan 'Didi Kempot' dan dia keluar dari danau dan menjadi Didi Kempot.
Mail jadi girang dengan pencapaian kawan-kawannya. Dia buru-buru menceburkan diri.
Belum sempat menceburkan diri dia tersandung akar dan terjatuh ke danau sambil mengumpat, "kunyuk."
Si Mail pun keluar menjadi kunyuk alias monyet. [end]
*cerita ini rekaan belaka dan populer di kalangan orang-orang yang suka naik gunung.
13 May 2008
“Jangan Ajak Dia, Nanti Dia Marah”
Ini satu kisah parodi. Tentang seorang ustad yang ingin masuk surga sendiri dan memvonis orang yang berbeda dengannya akan masuk neraka, termasuk agama lain. Baginya, orang yang berbeda dengannya adalah sesat, penuh bid’ah dan tak pantas masuk surga. Fiksi ini pernah dikisahkan Gus Dur, mantan ketua PBNU.
Tersebutlah seorang bernama ustad Jumari. Dalam ceramah-ceramahnya, ustad ini selalu menekankan supaya orang Islam waspada terhadap propaganda agama lain. “Saat ini marak terjadi pemurtadan terhadap orang Islam,” ucapnya, suatu ketika.
Ustad Jumari memang terkenal keras dengan agama-agama lain, dia paling anti dengan acara doa antar-agama, dialog antar-agama, atau apa pun yang berbau antar-agama. Dia marah besar suatu ketika saat panitia “antar-agama” mengundangnya.
Menurut Ustad tadi, Surga hanya untuk orang Islam. “Karena agama yang direstui Allah hanya Islam. Ayatnya inna al-dina inda allahi al-islam,” katanya. Tegas. “Sebagai orang Islam harus keras kepada non-Islam dan lembut sesama orang Islam.”
Di akhirat, keinginan Sang ustadz terkabul, dia masuk surga. Ustad Jumari kaget bukan kepalang. Di surga tak hanya dengan kaumnya. Ternyata romo, biksu, pastur juga masuk surga. Beberapa kyai yang sering dia kritik karena suka ikut acara berlabel “antar-agama” juga masuk surga.
“Wah… ini pasti ada yang salah,” fikirnya. Namun, dia tak bisa protes. Untung para malaikat mengetahui kekecewaannya. Dia diberi ruang khusus, yang terpisah dari orang-orang yang dibencinya.
Waktu makan malam pun tiba. Para malaikat memanggil semua penduduk surga untuk makan bersama. Dan pemuka agama dikumpulkan di tempat tersendiri. Para kiai, pendeta, pastur, dan biksu mengelilingi sebuah meja makan penuh hidangan menggiurkan.
Seorang biksu (versi Syir’ah kyai) bertanya, “Malaikat, Ustad Jumari kok enggak ada. Apa dia enggak diajak kumpul sama kita?”
“Ups…pelan… nanti dia marah,” bisik malaikat. “Dia kan paling tak suka acara antar-agama.”[end]
Sumber: Selilit Syir’ah edisi Januari 2006
Coblosan Hati Nurani
Ceritanya, Senin pagi 5 Juli, Rahman, bersama tetangga dekatnya Yusuf, berjalan semangat menuju bilik suara yang tak jauh dari rumahnya. Sepanjang perjalanan, kedua warga Madura yang bermukim di Yogyakarta ini memperbincangkan siapa pilihannya.
Dialog singkat berlogat Madura pun terjadi sepanjang perjalanan:
“Kamu milih apa Sup?” tanya Rahman.
“Aku pilih SBY saja lah,” jawab Yusup enteng.
“Kamu ini gimana! Kita kan orang Madura, masa milih SBY,” tentang Rahman.
“Lo, kan ibu kota kita Surabaya, pas kan kalau milih SBY? Coba kepanjangan SBY itu apa kalau bukan Surabaya?” kilah Yusup sengit.
“Tapi SBY kan bukan orang NU?”
“Gak peduli NU atau bukan. Yang penting sesuai dengan hati nurani! Kalau kamu pilih siapa?” Tanya Yusup.
“Sesuai dengan hati nuraniku, aku tetep pilih Gus Dur to,” jawab Rahman, mantap.
“Kon goblok yo? Gus Dur kan tidak bisa maju jadi presiden. Gimana mau nyoblos dia?” komentar Yusup sembari terkekeh-kekeh.
“Nggak ada urusan, yang penting sesuai dengan hati nurani!”
“Iya tapi gimana mau pilih Gus Dur kalau gambarnya aja tidak ada.”
Rahman lalu mengeluarkan foto Gus Dur dari sakunya.
Singkat cerita, Rahman hanya ingin tetap menjaga hati nuraninya agar tidak memilih kandidat presiden lain. Karenanya, dia mempersiapkan foto Gus Dur dan dia bawa masuk bilik suara, dia pasang di kartu tanda gambar yang akan dipilih.
Akhirnya, kesampaian juga niat memilih kandidat presiden pilihan hati nuraninya. Sesudah mendapat giliran mencoblos, di dalam bilik suara Rahman melaksanakan aksinya. Ia memang langsung membuka lembar tanda gambar. Namun, ia tidak langsung menusuk salah satu dari lima pasangan yang ada. Sebelum menusuk, Rahman merogoh foto Gus Dur di saku lalu menempelkan foto Gus Dur dengan lem yang sudah dipersiapkannya.
Sejenak berfikir, ia lalu memasang foto Gus Dur persis pada gambar Wiranto, "Wah, pas ini, pasangan orang NU, keturunan kyai, bernama Wahid lagi!" fikirnya. Dengan senyum puas gambar Gus Dur pun dicoblos. Bles, sesuai dengan hati nuraninya.[end] FM
Sumber: humorina Syir’ah edisi Agustus 2004
12 May 2008
11 May 2008
Meet a Smile in Myanmar's diaspora
Ati Nurbaiti
NAI NAI: JP/Ati NurbaitiNai Nai, her friend said, "is worried sick again." The young woman is busy collecting donations to send to family and friends in Yangon, the old capital stuck in the middle of the area hardest hid by the cyclone, the Irrawaddy Delta.
With her friends at the Bangkok office where she works at a media organization, Nai Nai had just heard the news that barely two weeks after the Cyclone Nargis hit her homeland, further rain storms had been predicted, while survivors still had no proper shelter. The other day she sounded gay on the phone, saying she had heard good news from home -- only the roof had flown off in the disaster.
On a daily basis, Nai Nai, 32, is indeed a cheerful woman.
But behind the friendly eyes and smiles on the faces of Myanmarese living overseas, is a sense of their resignation to being unable to help. When the cyclone hit, a few million exiles, migrants, refugees and others on the run had to bear the pain of waiting for news to arrive from home.
One email sent to The Jakarta Post from a Bangkok-based researcher began on a happy note. "My parents in Rangoon (Yangon) are fine," it said. "But I don't know about my relatives in Bogalay." He was referring to the coastal town where authorities said 95 percent of homes were destroyed.
One family's story reveals further just what separation means for those in diaspora. On the surface, the educated among them, not the refugees and migrant workers, have comfortable lives in cities in Thailand, Australia, the United States and other countries. For Nai Nai, migration meant dashed dreams, and more.
"My father had to officially separate from my mother," she said. Divorce became the only way to save everyone, as her father was a party executive within the National League for Democracy.
Nai Nai herself is not in exile, but she will only give me her nickname.
She graduated from high-school with flying colors, consistent with her earlier grades, her father said. Her goal was to continue on to medical school and become a surgeon -- but the authorities, who considered her family a political enemy, got wind of her aspirations.
"They approached me," says Zin Linn, her father.
"They said your daughter can enter medical school if you quit politics." He decided he could not leave the party that had swept to victory in the 1990 elections, which lead to the subsequent house arrest of chairwoman Aung San Syu Kyi.
Her father's refusal ended Nai Nai's dreams, and she said she was "very angry" when she found about the situation later from her mother. She took up studying English instead, "but I never had time for class, I copied my friends' notes," she said. Skipping classes was no fun; Nai Nai had to work.
"She became the family breadwinner," Zin Linn said.
Zin Linn was taken to jail, and her mother could not continue teaching. Not unlike under Indonesia's New Order, the government creatively and effectively used family harassment against dissidents.
"My mother's students were intimidated," Nai Nai said, and they stopped coming.
The family home in Yangon moved from time to time; as a "political family" which would bring trouble, landlords would ask them to leave, or extort them with higher rent fees, Nai Nai said.
Eventually, Nai Nai joined her father in Thailand; and achieved a scholarship for a masters degree in education.
"I spend weekends with him, we just talk," she said. She said one sister had fortunately managed to get a passport, and that occasionally half of the family reunited.
She said her mother gradually began to teach again. "The monks come to our house to learn English," Nai Nai said, adding that her sisters are now helping to teach.
"They teach children of (former and current) political prisoners," Nai Nai said. It was the least they could do, having known the hardship of such stigmatized families.
Fragmenting the populace is always an effective way for abusive rulers, and in Myanmar, one method to achieve this is by nurturing the mindset that some are less loyal to the motherland than others.
Even if Nai Nai's family had more political awareness than others, they were still of the dominant ethnic group, the Burmese -- who were taught that the minorities forever demanding autonomy were a "threat" to the union of Myanmar.
"I never knew about this ethnic issue," Nai Nai said. Then, one day, as she was about to take up further university studies, she said a fellow student found she was Burmese -- "and she wouldn't speak to me again." It turned out the other student was from one of the minority ethnic groups.
Most Burmese remain similarly oblivious of decades-old simmering resentment against them, she said.
"I only understood how the Shan (minority) suffered at the hands of the military from my aunt, who volunteered to teach there."
The Karens, the Shan, the Mon and many other groups accuse the junta of "ethnic genocide", which is achieved through forced expulsion of whole communities whenever the military decides to take over their land, either for their food supplies or their projects.
A book was recently published on the "Burmanization" of the Muslim minorities, mainly the Rohingya near the border with Bangladesh.
But Nai Nai remembers her student days when poetry, plays and newspapers were heavily censored.
It's not only the ethnic groups' identity the junta wants to wipe out, she said. The regime "wants to end Burmese culture."
Experts in Bangkok explained the values instilled in the populace, including the belief that only the military can protect Myanmar, coupled with the fear of outward dissent.
Nai Nai says she has no idea what the future holds for her.
But then her name means "nine nine" -- a lucky number in Myanmar.
She said her parents hoped her nickname would help her "pass all obstacles" -- and a grin spread across her face.[end]
The writer recently participated in a fellowship covering Myanmar as part of the Bangkok-based Southeast Asian Press Alliance. This article published on The Jakarta Post, Sun, 06/01/2008
10 May 2008
SKB Soal Ahmadiyah
Kemarin tetangga saya Maftuh Basyuni, atasnama Menteri Agama, Menteri Dalam Negeri dan Kejaksaan Agung Mengumumkan keputusan soal Ahmadiyah:
Berikut keenam isi keputusan tersebut:
Berikut keenam isi keputusan tersebut:
1. Memberi peringatan dan memerintahkan untuk semua warga negara untuk tidak menceritakan, menafsirkan suatu agama di Indonesia yang menyimpang sesuai UU No 1 PNPS 2005 tentang pencegahan penodaan agama.
2. Memberi peringatan dan memerintahkan bagi seluruh penganut, pengurus Jemaah Ahmadiyah Indonesia (JAI) sepanjang menganut agama Islam agar menghentikan semua kegiatan yang tidak sesuai dengan penafsiran agama Islam pada umumnya, seperti pengakuan adanya Nabi setelah Nabi Muhammad SAW.
3. Memberi peringatan dan memerintahkan kepada anggota atau pengurus JAI yang tidak mengindahkan peringatan tersebut dapat dikenai sanksi seusai peraturan perundangan.
4. Memberi peringatan dan memerintahkan semua warga negara menjaga dan memelihara kehidupan umat beragama dan tidak melakukan tindakan yang melanggar hukum terhadap penganut JAI.
5. Memberi peringatan dan memerintahkan kepada warga yang tidak mengindahkan peringatan dan perintah dapai dikenai sanksi sesuai perundangan yang berlaku.
6. Memerintahan setiap pemerintah daerah agar melakukan pembinaan terhadap keputusan ini. [end]
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